XIII

When a person dies, in those very first moments, the heart stops. It seizes all electrical activity from the sinoatrial node to the atrioventricular node. The heart does not contract again. Blood flow seizes to the brain, vital organs, and extremities. After thirty minutes that blood pools to the bottom of the body due to gravity. The hands and feet turn blue, the temperature drops. After twelve hours full rigor mortis sets in.

I’ve seen death. I’ve known death my entire life without ever meeting it myself. Death is constant and the only event that is one hundred percent certain in life. Everything that lives must die. The same way every story must come to an end. Nothing is forever. Make peace with death now, or you will live your entire life in fear of the certainty that is the unknown.

I was eight the first time I Googled what happens when a person dies. I wasn’t looking for an answer about heaven or hell, but that’s certainly what I found. So much debate over belief that made my child mind spin. I just wanted to know what happened to the body. Like what really happens? Surely, you don’t stay stiff and powdered forever. Smelling heavily of flowers.

I Googled it again when I was twelve. Came across a documentary and some random explorer showed the world what a decomposing body looked like in different stages. Now, I get to spend the rest of my life thinking about all the stages. Every time I lose someone, and a certain time period goes off, my mind likes to tell me what they look like in that stage. Two hours, twenty-four hours, seven days, three months, eight months, a year.

The endless tic of time along with every obsessive thought, that is a constant reminder that death will come a knocking whenever he chooses.